A Review of A Course in Miracles

Lesson 209. I feel the Love of God within me now.

Early this year I have completed the first part of a three part book called "A Course in Miracles" (by Helen Schucman and William Thetford). I am currently going through the second part which is the workbook. I initially encountered this book last year. However I did not pick it up again until a year later because I felt I needed additional insights on spirituality and faith, before I can fully appreciate what this book will mean to me. The workbook contains 365 lessons where a student can study and meditate on one lesson each day, so the workbook is meant to be completed in a year's time. As of now, I still have around  two months to complete the 365 lessons in the workbook.

The introduction of the book provides its summary as follows.

This course can therefore be summed up very simply in this way:

Nothing real can be threatened.

Nothing unreal exists.

Herein lies the peace of God.

The very first time I read the above statements, it touched something within me. I knew I would go back to this book eventually because it felt like I encountered a truth that my soul inherently knew but I somehow forgot. It moved something in my heart that led me to a direction that still surprises me.

I still have some ways to go in this study, but I feel compelled to start sharing what I am learning. Here is where I am in my journey with the course...

For two years now, I have stopped working as an Accountant so I can concentrate on a personal study of meditation and spirituality. I made this decision because I've always felt that there was a personal mission I was not fulfilling in my life and I intended to understand what it was/is. Sure I had a good enough job and a little success and some financial security, but I felt that while it was all good, I was not fully aligned to what I needed to do or be. I felt that even with the material things that I acquired which were supposedly to make me feel secured, there was this pit of fear and insecurity that was always just under the surface waiting to pounce upon me. Hence there was a sense of clawing through a wall with bare hands to get through the other side, as if I needed to always prove my worth to everyone, to work harder, smarter, better all the time or else everything will be taken away. However I suspected that this fear was not real, and I was sensing that there was something about my life that was becoming a script that confined my thoughts, actions and reactions to an endless loop. So yeah, kind of like the movie Matrix or being inside a snow globe where everything was comfy and cozy but in reality it was just a movie replaying inside my head. And inside the Matrix or the snow globe, the scenes may seem to vary but in fact, they were all similar circumstances imprisoned within a small sphere that could not allow true growth. My heart not just my mind needed to expand, and I knew I won't be able to achieve that  if I did not leave my comfort zones. Hence I left the things that defined me for many years of my life, such as a job title and the bit of status that came with it. No, I didn't really have much to leave behind but whatever I had was all I knew to do or to be for three decades of my life, so I was terrified about leaving that "normal" life that included my dreams of having really fancy calling cards which will bring fancier things!

It's not that those fancy calling card dreams are bad, there is nothing wrong with enjoying life's perks, but I guess my curiosity about my spiritual dilemma was stronger than my comfort zone  so I took a leap  of faith. My faith in God has always been very important to me although my old normal self would never speak about it publicly. I wanted to experience a depth of faith that challenged my security blankets, so off I went - away from old patterns. So goodbye job, salary, team of folks who followed what I said, company provided health insurance, vacations, etc. Having been dependent on employment for decades, I struggle against my old equation which was: Time = Money. I struggle with this equation up to now and feel a pang of guilt when I can't equate my time to a monetary value, but I have come up with some equations that help me somewhat:

Prayer time > All the money in the world

Time spent studying and meditating on God = Infinite Value

I have always believed that there was a God from Whom all creation came about in however creation occurred. I also believed that God is a Being of pure Love so that everything that came from Him carries the same particles of love, although of course that may not always be apparent.

When I found the Course in Miracles, I found a book that resonated to everything that I already believed in. I found comfort in finding a book that spoke of the things I feel I had always known and gave me the additional details that I needed. The book talks about the unconditional love of God, and that because of such love, it is impossible for us to be separated from Him. The book emphasized the role of forgiveness of others and of self to achieve Atonement or a return to our True Self which is never separated from God, also what the book calls achieving the Christ mind. If we are never separated from God, therefore, there is no room for fears or doubts.

So, imagine a being that lives life without fears or doubts. Imagine a being who knows that he is made out of pure Light and Love, and he walks and moves about with a surety that all he needs is available to him. Imagine a being who exudes pure defenselessness because there is nothing to defend against, for he is fully secured in his own being as a Child of God. Now, imagine that this being is you! How does it feel? What if you understood that this what you are imagining is actually your true being? It is quite difficult to accept that truth about ourselves, isn't it? So many events in our lives has made us see ourselves as the opposite for it is much easier to see our sins and our faults. What a challenge from the course, to look at our innocence instead of our guilt! I struggle with this everyday, but I keep with the course. Everyday I am challenged to express my faith through living a courageous life and bravely flowing through life's roller coaster of issues.

So here I am, facing a challenge and actually finding a miracle which is:  writing and sharing all these which my old normal self would never have done ( and I mean, never!). And so now, it is done.

BTW, I am sharing my new calling card. Feel free to use it for yourself!

My prayer is for you to encounter the truth of your being. I wish you happiness, clarity, and courage in your journey.

Let me close this post with Lesson #209 from the workbook:

Lesson 209. I feel the Love of God within me now.

The Love of God is what created me. The Love of God is everything I am.

The Love of God proclaimed me as His Son. The Love of God within me sets me free.

Amen to that!